


Dust of Snow

by The_Escaped



Series: The Bad Dad Squad AU [2]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Bad Dad Squad reunion, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Just stands there like Mercury throughout V4, Marcus Black's A+ Parenting, Mercury and Emerald get out AU, Neptune's there too but he doesn't say anything, Pre-Relationship, This is an AU of an AU so be warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:14:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23634415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Escaped/pseuds/The_Escaped
Summary: “Watch where you’re-” Then she looked up and froze, still glaring. Mercury didn’t think anyone else saw her struggle briefly, surprise at war with her control over herself. Surprise won out. “Mercury?”Mercury smirked, completely at a loss as to what else to do.“Hey, Princess. Long time no see.”Five years after Marcus Black ended his contract with Jacques Schnee, the two kids meet up at Beacon. Cinder is planning on destroying Beacon, the Vytal Festival is looming, and Mercury has decided none of this is a problem.
Relationships: Mercury Black & Emerald Sustrai, Mercury Black/Weiss Schnee
Series: The Bad Dad Squad AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1701397
Comments: 17
Kudos: 83





	Dust of Snow

**Author's Note:**

> It's my birthday, I can post crack taken seriously if I want to 
> 
> So if you didn't read the first work, this takes place in an AU where Jacques Schnee hires Marcus Black and his son as bodyguards after the White Fang attack the SDC and hurt Weiss as a child, because hiring one 12 year old to guard another is the kind of low-budget unethical business practice Jacques Schnee is all about. The two kids end up becoming friends, but after the contract ends Marcus Black takes Mercury back to their house and they lose contact. This is around V2, when Emerald and Mercury are pretending to be Haven students.

Mercury was waiting for Emerald when the class on Grimm Studies got out, strictly because Cinder had said they were supposed to stick together. She’d caught his eye and was elbowing her way through the crowd when the professor cleared his throat loudly from his desk.

“Misses Sustrai, Xiao-Long, and Rose, a word.” There was a series of groans from inside the doors; Mercury smirked at the look of consternation on Emerald’s face. He waved at her cheerfully. Emerald wiped her expression back to innocent student and turned back around. Behind her back, she flipped Mercury off right before the door closed again.

“Aw, is she not playing nice with the other kids?” he asked Neo, who’d escaped unnoticed in the swarm of kids. She shrugged, black hair sprawling over her shoulders, making a motion like she was passing a note as an explanation, but then she wandered off. “Nice talking to you too.” She waved a hand and kept walking. No one had given _her_ any orders besides helping them in the tournament. She was probably hoping to sneak out and visit Torchwick.

The training grounds would be filling up; Mercury was itching to go and observe as much of the different teams plans as he could. They needed to know how these kids fought before they could plan how they were going to do this.

But Cinder got pissy if they didn’t do things exactly as she said, and she’d told him to wait for Emerald. So Mercury leaned against the wall in the hallway and listened to what he could of the professor’s long-winded ramble of a talking-to.

He didn’t know why Emerald even bothered. With the Vytal Festival on the way, plenty of teachers were turning a blind eye to absences. Everyone was busy training for the tournament, and even the professors wanted their own students to have a good showing. He hadn’t shown up for an academic class since they’d enrolled and no one had said a single word about it.

At least it wasn’t his job to make nice with all of Ozpin’s baby soldiers. Emerald was welcome to it.

By the time Emerald made her escape, Mercury was actively thinking about risking Cinder’s annoyance just to find something to do.

“Took you long enough. Do you need Cinder to sign a note for you?” he mocked.

She shoved him. “Fuck off.”

“That’s no way to talk to your partner. What’ll your new best friends say?” The sound of footsteps from the door behind them was the only thing that stopped her. Her eyes narrowed. Mercury smirked.

“Emerald!” A blur of red streaked out of the room and latched onto Emerald. Mercury watched Emerald bury her instinctive reaction to the touch and smile at the girl.

Mercury had absolutely no idea why Emerald had chosen Ruby Rose of all people to spend time with. They would have been better served keeping an eye on Team CFVY, or the Nikos girl. As far as he could tell, the only reason was to annoy the hell out of Torchwick, who still ranted every chance he got about the girl with the scythe who ruined his plans.

Annoying Torchwick was a valid reason, but still.

“Hey, don’t feel bad about Port,” her sister said, tucking her arms back behind her head as she joined them, “He’s all bluster. Besides, he’s friends with our dad, so I think he’ll go easy on us.” She thought about that for a second. “Maybe.” Pale violet eyes flicked over him. “You must be Em’s teammate. Mercury, right?”

Mercury knew instantly that Emerald had no part in deciding that nickname. He grinned at her, and she couldn’t do anything about it with Torchwick’s biggest headache hanging off her arm. This was the greatest day of his life.

“Yeah. Must have gotten turned around again and missed the class,” he said blandly, “This place is so different from Haven.”

The blond girl snickered. “You’re alright,” she decided, still grinning, “I don’t care what Emerald says about you.”

“That makes two of us,” Mercury said, because Emerald still wasn’t in a position to do anything about it. The Rose girl had a hand on Emerald’s arm, and Emerald wasn’t doing anything about it. Mercury looked closer and realized that Red was blushing. So there was a reason Emerald had chosen Red as her target after all.

He was absolutely not going to let her forget it.

“We were going to meet up with the rest of our team, practice sparring for a little bit before dinner. Did you want to come?”

“Please come!” Ruby Rose said from next to Emerald, jumping up and down. She was younger than a student was supposed to be, Mercury had read the same reports as Emerald, but she shouldn’t be _that_ young. “Your greaves look so interesting, does the firing mechanism wear out the soles badly?”

Foreboding trickled down his spine. Mercury glared at Emerald, who started protesting immediately. “I didn’t tell her; Ruby’s really good with weapons.” Ruby went as red as both her names, a pleased smile blossoming on her face.

Mercury was absolutely going to tell Cinder about this, and he was going to make it sound as bad as possible.

“ _Ruby!_ ” a voice snapped imperiously from the other side of the hallway, cracking through the space, and Ruby Rose wilted, hiding behind Emerald. From behind him was the clicking of heels marching towards them, furious as a war drum. “I leave you alone for _one class_ and you get caught passing notes?”

“We’ll make sure not to get caught next time,” offered Blondie, but Mercury wasn’t paying attention anymore, his mind had gone blank because he _knew_ that voice, from years and an ocean away and it couldn’t _possibly_ be-

“How are you supposed to lead a team if you can’t even-”

Mercury turned around just as the figure reached them. The movement put him directly in her path; she was so set on yelling at Rose that she walked straight into his chest. White hair filled his vision.

“ _Watch_ where you’re-” Then she looked up and froze, still glaring. Mercury didn’t think anyone else saw her struggle briefly, surprise at war with her control over herself. Surprise won out. “ _Mercury_?”

Mercury smirked, completely at a loss as to what else to do.

“Hey, Princess. Long time no see.”

  
  


“You got taller.”

Weiss had dragged him away from the others, ignoring her teammates’ questions as she did so. Mercury understood; he didn’t want witnesses to this reunion either. Now they were on the edge of Beacon’s campus, cliffs below them. Weiss’s feet were dangling off the edge. Mercury’s feet were significantly more expensive than Weiss’s and Cinder would end him if he damaged them so early, so they were planted firmly on solid ground.

Mercury cracked a grin, making a show of looking her over.

“Wish I could say the same.”

Weiss scowled just as she had when they were children and jammed her shoulder into his side. “You’re _just_ as immature,” she muttered, which wasn’t a denial. Mercury was opening his mouth to tell her that there was no point improving on perfection when she added, “I looked for you.”

They had to have been the oddest pair in all of Atlas; the newly minted heiress to the Schnee Dust Company and the kid of a mercenary Jacques Schnee had hired as a bodyguard. Certainly none of Weiss’s tutors had known what to make of the scrappy kid shadowing all of their student’s classrooms. But it was cheaper to hire from outside of the four kingdoms, and hiring Marcus Black had gotten the Schnee Dust Company Mercury for half the price as well. Marcus had needed to lie low after a job had gone sour; it had worked out well for both of them.

It had worked out less well for Mercury and Weiss Schnee, who had hated each other on sight, but they’d made it work. Mercury had been used to being in situations that he hated, and by the time he’d figured out that Weiss was used to it as well, they’d fallen into a stiff truce, and then something approaching a partnership.

“I couldn’t find any listing for you.” Weiss was staring at him, waiting for him to say something. Mercury rubbed at the back of his neck, awkward.

“Not a lot of communications go on outside of the kingdoms,” he said in explanation. Her face fell.

Mercury almost told her about how he’d tried to get in contact with her too. Mail was out of the question, and the only scroll in the house had been the one Marcus used to maintain his connections and find jobs. He’d tried to swipe it a few times, find the contact information that had set Marcus Black up with a job from the Schnee Dust Company. His old man had taken the weakness out on his hide when he found out about it.

It had been a failure, that he hadn’t gotten the information. Weiss didn’t need to know about it.

“My old man deleted the contact information when we got back to the mountains,” he said instead, because he’d found that out eventually, when it was much too late to recover it. Weiss didn’t ask why he hadn’t asked his father for it, because she’d met Marcus Black. He changed the subject, to make her lips stop pressing together like that. “Didn’t expect to see you all the way out here. Atlas Academy too boring for you?” He could have sworn that getting into his sister’s school was Weiss’s greatest dream.

“Beacon Academy is the highest-ranked Huntsman academy in Remnant,” she said primly, and yeah, he should have expected that.

“Ah. ‘Nothing but the best for Miss Schnee’.”

“Don’t make fun of Klein, he missed you too.”

“Your butler thought I was a terror,” he retorted, because what little he remembered of the head servant of the Schnee family involved a lot of muttering and much fouler language than anything else he’d heard out of anyone in that house.

“He did not!” Weiss thought about it for a second. When red began creeping into her face again, he knew he’d won. “Oh alright, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t fond of you.”

Mercury started snickering with disbelief, but Weiss’s expression softened into warmth. She smiled at him.

She was more relaxed than he could ever remember her being. That couldn’t have happened at home, with her father breathing down her neck about every single thing she did, and the pressure of the SDC looming over her.

“How’s your father?” Mercury had been so busy staring at her that the question threw him. Weiss was looking down over the city, face completely blank.

Mercury could still feel the smoke from his house burning in his throat. He could feel the adrenaline like lightning as they fought for the last time. His legs ached.

“He’s dead,” he said, and there was absolutely no way to tell what he felt from his voice. It was a trick that had saved him a million times over the years, but now, sitting here with Weiss, he almost wished that he could shed it for just one conversation.

Weiss pulled her feet up to the ground again, curling so her knees went under her chin. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“I’m not.” He didn’t feel worried about saying that at all. Weiss knew who Marcus Black had been. She didn’t say anything on that subject either, just hummed noncommittally. “What about your old man?”

“He’s the same as ever.” And there was a wealth of information in that, Mercury had met her father too. But what struck Mercury is that her tone was just as blank as his had been a moment ago.

He smirked. “Sorry for your loss,” he echoed, and her mask cracked as she scowled and elbowed him again. But she still looked upset when the scuffle faded, so he offered, “I bet he was really pissed that you came here.”

“He…isn’t pleased,” conceded Weiss.

“Huh. Good for you.” For a second, she beamed and sat up a little straighter. Mercury doubted that her teammates knew about her family drama. He wouldn’t have known about it if he hadn’t been her shadow for nearly a year. He wouldn’t have known that Weiss Schnee, heiress to the Schnee Dust Company, was such a rebel either. She kept her rebellions to the smaller details; the way her hair was done up to the side; arguments with her father and brother that were kept safely behind the manor doors. Going to a prestigious school that just so happened to be on the other side of the world, where it would be nearly impossible for Jacques to keep her under his thumb. Weiss cared too much about her family’s name to be louder about it, but she wasn’t the proper little heiress that her father wanted. It looked like she hadn’t changed at all. Mercury was relieved.

He’d rather die than admit it though, so he only kicked her lightly with his foot.

“Beacon suits you,” he said, because she looked more at ease than he’d ever seen her out of the focus of sparring, and it _did_ suit her. She looked strong and confident and like she’d grown into herself. She moved like a fighter, gracefully, in completely control of herself. And because he knew that no one, not even her precious sister, would have given their blessing for her to be this far from home.

Weiss smiled down at the city below them, secretive and bright, and leaned against his side.

“You look like things have been going well too,” she said, which wasn’t quite true, but he appreciated it. “That’s a Haven uniform, right? What’s your team like?”

Until that exact moment, he had completely forgot why he was at Beacon. He hadn’t thought about Cinder.

“They’re a team. I’ll work on my own once I get out of school.”

Weiss smirked, completely ignorant of the thoughts running through his head. "You haven't changed at all. There's no shame in having a partner to have your back."

He grunted, mind still whirling. Cinder was going to tear this school down apart stone by stone, and Weiss was going to be inside of it.

But Mercury and Weiss had always existed in a vacuum, apart from the rest of the world. They never would have been allowed to be anything to each other otherwise. So he told himself it was alright that they just kept sitting there, Weiss leaning against his side, and Mercury pretending that he wasn’t leaning back.

“Is your hand-to-hand still shit?” he asked to distract himself from the feeling in his ribcage, and Weiss immediately launched into the exact same argument about her fighting style that he remembered, nearly word for word, and he started to laugh so hard that she finally had to give in and join him.

  
  


Cinder was waiting for him when he got back to the room. The way she sat on the bed, half in shadow, Dust glinting in her clothing.

“Emerald tells me that you were able to make a friend after all,” she told him, nearly a purr.

“This could be very useful,” she said when he’d finished his explanation. Usually she used the nights to communicate with Taurus or Torchwick, but now all her attention was focused on Mercury now. “A long lost friend. The girl will be easy enough for you to get information out of.”

Emerald was sitting on the floor below Cinder. She was pretending to be deeply immersed in the book she was reading. Like there could have been anyone else who would have told Cinder about it.

Mercury turned his attention back to Cinder. “Shouldn’t be too hard,” he agreed, because it would get him more time with Weiss and give him more time away from Cinder where he could figure out what to _do_ about Weiss being here during the attack in the first place.

“Emerald will move her attention on to Team CFVY. They’re another rising star at Beacon, and there are two potential maidens on their team. We shouldn’t be putting all our Dust in one basket.”

That got Emerald to look up.

“I’ve been working R- Team RWBY-” she corrected hastily, and from the way Cinder’s lips pursed Mercury wasn’t the only one who noticed the slip, “For two weeks now. I’m close with their leader and-”

“Mercury has a better angle to work with them,” Cinder said. Her voice was just as pleasant, but instinct started shrieking down Mercury’s spine. He tensed.

Emerald didn’t, because Emerald had all the survival instincts of roadkill. “Everyone here is paired up, because of Ozpin’s bullshit team system,” she argued. “If it’s just Mercury, they’ll notice. I’m already fielding questions about why you and Neo aren’t ever around-”

“Emerald, do you remember what your place is?” Cinder asked pleasantly, and Emerald finally, _finally_ realized how dangerous a path she was walking. Mercury had been there the last time that had been brought up.

So when Cinder reached down towards her, Emerald flinched, drawing away slightly. “Yes,” she said meekly.

But Cinder only put her hand against the side of Emerald’s face, gentle.

“Your place is with _me_ ,” she said warmly, caressing her cheek until her hand came to a stop at Emerald’s chin. Emerald leaned into the touch despite herself, relieved that she hadn't been angry after all. Cinder kept smiling gently as she continued, “Because if your place _wasn’t_ with me, there would be nothing to stop me from reporting you to the authorities, would there be?”

Emerald’s breath stuttered. She jerked, but Cinder was holding her by the chin now, nails digging into her skin to keep her in place. Only now did she let the edge creep into her voice.

“It was bad enough when you were just stealing jewelry, but now? Falsifying travel papers and school records, working with a terrorist organization, the whole business in that faunus bookstore…” She tilted Emerald’s head up slightly. “What do you think the police would make of it all?”

Emerald’s breath wasn’t hitching anymore, but Mercury was pretty sure that was because she wasn’t breathing. There was something broken in the way she was staring at Cinder, spellbound with horror, like she couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing.

She probably didn’t. Emerald had been trailing after Cinder like a puppy for the entire time Mercury had known them. The thought that Cinder could turn on her probably hadn’t even crossed her mind. She would never have been so loyal if it had.

“So it’s so very good that your place is at my side,” Cinder finished with the same gentle smile, “Isn’t it?”

Emerald tried to nod and couldn’t. “Yes, ma’am,” she croaked instead.

“You’ll seek out Team CFVY and ingratiate yourself with them tomorrow. The faunus girl seems to be shy, you’ll start with her.”

“Team CFVY got sent on a mission at the border yesterday,” Mercury said, and Cinder turned her head to look at him. Emerald didn’t move. Her self-preservation had finally kicked in about ten minutes too late; she didn’t dare move out of Cinder’s hold. She reminded Mercury of the animals that he and his father had trapped around their house during the winter, when there was no trade and hunger was an edge he never quite forgot. He toggled the setting of the scroll so that they could see the same information he was looking at. “They’ll be away until the start of the tournament.”

Displeasure crossed Cinder’s face. She looked him over, but he kept his own expression blank, just like he’d seen a tiny girl under too much scrutiny do about a hundred times, and pretended that the only reason he’d brought it up was logistics.

Finally, Cinder smiled at him.

“We’ll have to broaden our search then.” She released Emerald. The girl shrank backwards until she was against the wall behind her, hands creeping up towards her jaw. Cinder stood, ignoring her. “I need to meet with Torchwick about the Dust shipments. Don’t cause any more trouble tonight.”

The door closed behind her; Emerald dragged in one breath at last, hands still over the lower half of her mouth, then another. The fear in her expression slowly faded, until she just looked hurt. She pulled her knees up, hid her face behind them.

“How are you so good at working a person but so bad at knowing you’re being worked?” he wanted to know.

“Fuck off, Mercury. Go play with your fucking heiress friend.” He started to bristle at that, but she curled harder into herself like she thought being a brat was going to have consequences with _him_ , and that made his anger ebb away pretty quick.

Emerald was annoying, sure, the way she hung around Cinder and the way she kept relying on her Semblance in every fight pissed him off, but she was fun too. He’d enjoyed hanging out with her around Vale. She kept fighting, long after most people would have given up. They worked well together, and good partners could be hard to come by.

And the way she was hiding her lack of composure until she got control of herself reminded him very much of Weiss after Jacques had yelled at her about some perceived failure. The way she was trying to take up as little space as possible reminded him of trying to hide from Marcus in a house that was too small and too close and now was just ashes.

He pushed himself backwards until he was leaning against the wall too. Emerald tensed at the movement, so he took care to keep some breathing space between them.

“You were right,” Mercury said quietly. After a long pause, Emerald’s head lifted slightly, “Everyone here is paired up. They’ll expect the both of us to be close to each other.” She swallowed hard and looked down again. Mercury pretended to be interested in his scroll because the last time someone had cried on him had been Weiss after a White Fang attack five years ago, and he hadn’t gotten any better at dealing with it. “Besides,” he said lightly, “Just about every other sentence Schnee said to me was about your new bestie. If you’re not around she’ll keep pestering me about you, and I won’t be able to get anything out of it at all.”

“Tell that to Cinder.”

“I’m not going to tell that to Cinder after you got her in such a bad mood.” Emerald ducked her head further. Mercury looked away. “I’ll mention it when she calms down a little. It’ll be more suspicious if you just start ignoring them anyway, won’t it?”

She didn’t say anything. Mercury waited patiently, and eventually she gave a small nod.

“Team RWBY has four potential maidens. It makes sense to watch them.” she mumbled, and Mercury was halfway through nodding when he realized that Weiss was one of the potential Maidens.

Mercury briefly considered the possibility that Weiss would turn down the powers of a Maiden if they were offered to her.

Weiss, who’d been arguing with her father about labor laws and OSHA violations since before he’d known her. Who’d used her allowance and her butler to fund illicit paid sick time for injured workers at the SDC. Who had all the money and power she needed to stay safe and comfortable, and was still training for one of the most dangerous professions in the world, because she considered it her duty to try to save a world that kept fucking itself up.

He only considered it briefly. The idea was too stupid to last much longer than that.

Emerald had started to uncurl slightly, relaxing into the lack of reaction from him. She rested her chin on her knees.

“Do you think she’d really tell the police?”

Mercury had a feeling that usually if he tried to get closer, Emerald would lean into the touch just as much as she had for Cinder. She was just a kid in some ways, just as bad as Weiss's teammates. But the memory of Cinder holding her in place would be too strong right now for her to allow it. Mercury left a good six inches of space between them and only nudged her with his foot.

“You’re telling me you wouldn’t be able to break out of prison in a day and a half?” She didn’t respond at all. Roman had been calling her a street rat this whole time, but Mercury hadn’t really put much stock in it. Now though… “She’d be putting herself at risk doing that. She’s not going to report you to the police.”

“I was just doing what she said to do.” And even though she was complaining, there was an edge of hurt underneath the frustration, a vulnerability that was going to get her killed if she wasn’t careful. “…I did everything she said.”

“I know.” Mercury looked at her.

He’d killed Marcus to get away from this kind of shit. He’d followed Cinder because she seemed like she was on the side that was winning, and he’d thought she was different. If she wasn’t, and if Weiss was going to be staring him down from the other side of the battlefield…

Fuck this.

“C’mon.” Emerald looked up as he stood. Mercury offered her a hand. “I know how to make sure Cinder can’t turn you over to the cops.”

Emerald stared at him, stunned. If he’d just been burned as badly by someone he trusted as much as she did Cinder, he wouldn’t have taken him up on it. But after a long moment of staring at him, she put her hand in his.

“Yeah?” she said, shooting for disbelieving, but her tone ended up more tentative.

“Yeah,” he said, plan solidifying in his mind as he spoke. He hadn’t survived Marcus for this. He was done with it. “You’re not going to like it at first though, so trust me.”

When Mercury pulled her to her feet, she looked him up and down, an odd expression on her face. But she followed him.

  
  


Mercury was right. Emerald did not like the plan. However, she hadn’t figured out what it was until they were nearly at their destination, so there wasn't much she could do about it.

“If Salem-”

“Look,” Mercury said, cutting her off before she talked them both out of it, “Salem and Ozpin have been fighting for centuries, right? So that’s centuries that she’s _failed_. And if Ozpin’s been reincarnated and she hasn't, that means she’s been failing to a baby sometimes. That’s poor management. I don’t know about you, but I want to be on the winning side.”

Emerald hesitated. She glanced down the hall like she thought Cinder was going to swoop right out and attack them right there. Personally, Mercury was more worried about Neo.

“Cinder...” she began.

“Aren't you tired of being slapped around by Cinder?" he wanted to know, because he was tired of watching it. "She's using you. She just proved it." 

Emerald looked like she wanted to cry, but she bit down on the impulse before it got out of hand. There were too many potential witnesses. “But what about everything we did for her?”

“I can talk us out of that. Trust me.” That was the second time he’d said that in his life, and it wasn’t even five minutes from the first time. Emerald scoffed, and for the first time since Mercury had gone back to their room she didn’t look tense.

“You couldn’t talk your way out of a bag without making someone want to kill you.” But the whole way down the hall, she hadn’t let go of his hand. She hesitated, then said, “Alright.”

There were noises coming out from under the crack in the door as they approached.

“-can’t believe you have such a good-looking friend and you didn’t tell us. You’ve been holding out on us, Schnee.” Emerald’s face twisted, which was nearly as amusing as the way Weiss began sputtering.

“Can we _please_ get back to the matter at hand?” she demanded. “Torchwick hasn’t been seen in forever, but the White Fang activity is concentrated on the east side of the city.” That was all the Weiss he remembered, businesslike down to her bones.

“The White Fang shouldn’t be working for him in the first place.” He was pretty sure that was the girl who was pretending to not be a faunus, the one who'd messed up Torchwick's efforts to recruit. She sounded too angry about it too be anyone else. “I don’t know why they would be working with him, unless there was someone bigger that we don’t know about.”

“That’s our cue,” Mercury told Emerald, and promptly kicked the door open. “Probably because there is someone bigger pulling the strings.”

The entire group- Team RWBY and two guys Mercury was pretty sure were from the school they were pretending to be a part of- stared at him. There was a map of Vale spread out in the middle of their circle. Mercury could see snowflake pins marking out the White Fang’s recruitment area and where there used to be Dust stores before someone belatedly threw a board game on top of it. He stared at the girl in disbelief. Ruby Rose maintained eye contact with him as she tossed cards and figurines across it like that would make him think they were playing.

Mercury looked past her. Weiss had her head in her hands. Mercury waited until she was looking up again to give her a shit-eating grin.

“Did you know that Ozpin’s in the middle of a secret war with an immortal witch?”

Weiss put her hands back up again, like she could make him go away by ignoring him. Just like the good old days.

“…It wouldn’t be much of a secret if we knew about it,” said the blond boy perched on the windowsill. His tail was twitching though, betraying his agitation.

“There’s no such thing as witches,” said the faunus girl flatly.

“There’s one, and she’s spooky as fuck. She’s planning on using the Vytal Festival to turn the four kingdoms against each other and spark a war. She’s using a branch of the White Fang controlled by Adam Taurus to do it.” Silence fell around the room around him. The black-haired girl to his left had gone very pale. As an afterthought, Mercury added, “And she can control the Grimm.”

“That’s impossible,” said two different people at once. Weiss wasn’t one of the people, so Mercury didn’t really care.

“How do _you_ know about it?” demanded Xiao Long, which was an annoyingly good question. He’d kind of hoped it wouldn’t come up until later.

Emerald’s fingers tightened around Mercury’s hand until their grip was crushing. She wouldn’t look at Rose. “Because we were working for her,” he said, and Emerald squeaked, squeezing his hand. “Ow. Emerald, knock it off.” He looked at Weiss. “Cinder’s in on it, and she’s been blackmailing us into helping her, and we want out.”

Weiss was looking at him, mouth pressed into a tight line.

“What’s she blackmailing you with?” Ruby Rose asked. Her eyes were on Emerald, who was still behind Mercury, half-ready to cut and run. Mercury was pretty sure that his grip on her was the only thing keeping her from bolting.

“Nothing as bad as what she wants to do to your school,” he said neatly, which didn’t really answer the question but would hopefully distract her. Emerald’s hand twitched, but she didn’t run, and no one looked too upset yet. The monkey faunus looked amused.

“Why?” demanded Xiao Long. “If she’s blackmailing you and she’s so dangerous, why risk betraying her? What do we have to offer?”

Mercury did not look at Weiss. Marcus had trained him better than that. But he couldn’t resist needling her, so he smirked and said, “What can I say? We talked it over and decided that all the hot girls were on this side, so here we are.”

The shirtless guy tilted his head, shrugging. “Can’t really argue with that.” The black-haired girl tried to shove him out the window.

Xiao Long didn’t look convinced. She looked at her sister, who was watching Emerald, who was watching the floor and still holding Mercury’s hand like a lifeline.

“Weiss?” she asked. “He’s your friend. Your call.”

Weiss hadn’t taken her eyes off him the whole time. Her gaze was piercing, sharp as sunlight on fresh snow. Mercury met her eyes, because he knew her, he’d been her first friend and she'd been his, and she knew better than anyone he’d ever met what it felt like to be forced into a situation she couldn’t get out of. She was the only one who’d ever given a shit about what Marcus was doing. If anyone could understand this, it was Weiss.

“You have proof?” she said, but that wasn’t because she didn’t believe him. It was because Weiss was used to having people not believe _her_ , and she wanted to make sure that they had enough ammunition to get what they needed.

“As much as you need, Princess.”

“I believe him,” she said simply. Mercury absolutely didn’t let himself look relieved about that. If Emerald thought he hadn’t actually been sure this would work, she’d never let him hear the end of it. Weiss scooted over a little. “Sit down and fill us in.”

The rest of the room relaxed at this pronouncement, looking at each other.

“Ozpin believes in second chances,” the black-haired girl said softly, and that only cemented his idea that she was the Belladonna girl that Taurus had been ranting about every chance he got. “He’ll help you out if you explain.”

“We’ll help,” Blondie said, like she hadn’t been suspicious of him a minute ago. Rose nodded eagerly. “Well, Ruby will. No one can say no to her, especially Ozpin. I mean, if you meet Ice Queen’s impossible standards, I guess we have to go along with it.”

“Ice Queen?” he repeated, delighted, watching pink suffuse Weiss’s face, “Why didn’t I think of that?”

“Because you were twelve,” muttered Weiss, and pointedly ignored the interest that bloomed over her teammate’s expressions. “Don’t encourage them.”

Mercury was absolutely going to encourage them, and from the half-defeated expression on Weiss’s face she knew it too.

“I had better not be one of the hot girls,” Weiss warned him as he sat down. Ruby Rose was picking up the game pieces sheepishly and trying to put the pins back in the map where they’d gotten knocked off. Emerald picked up some of the scattered ones and was using them to mark the White Fang’s hideouts around the city. Mercury was fairly sure only Rose had noticed so far, but she was watching Emerald with stars in her eyes so he was pretty sure that would work out fine.

Mercury grinned at her. “From what I hear, you’re the Ice Queen, so…”

She smacked him on the arm.

“I want the whole story later,” she said in an undertone.

“Sure, Princess. We can talk about it when we talk about how you didn’t deny that I’m good-looking.” She squawked and hit his arm again, harder this time, but Mercury had her on one side and Emerald on the other, and maybe he wasn’t sure about what to make of Weiss’s new team yet, but they would help get him and Emerald’s slates clean if Weiss had to harangue them into it or not and that was good enough for him. This was already looking to be much better than sitting in their room on the other side of campus, waiting and hoping Cinder would be in a more lenient mood when she got back. He’d known being next to Weiss Schnee was the best place to be five years ago. Nothing about the present situation was enough to revise that opinion. Turning away from her, he addressed the room at large. “So who wants to take us to tell Ozpin about his nemesis and her plans to destroy Beacon?” he asked brightly.

**Author's Note:**

> Eventually I'll write the rest of the Bad Dad Squad. This is only one ending, and probably not the one that I'm going to go with for the main one, but once it popped into my head it wasn't going anywhere. So now you all have to suffer through reading it too, lol. Title's from a Robert Frost Poem that I thought fit. 
> 
> There will almost certainly be more crack based on this one, just snippets, but it will be posted in another chapter, because it was already 10 pages and enough nonsense was enough
> 
> Stay safe and healthy lovelies, we'll make it through this! I got my boss to put me back on leave so hmu if you wanna at shitlinguistssay.tumbler.com


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